The safety zone....

I was watching Giuliana and Bill on Sky.  I don't know how behind we are on the episodes compared to the ones showing in the USA.

Anyway we're up to the episode where they are nearly at the 12 week mark.  Bill and Giuliana often say that they can't wait to get to the 12 week mark to enter the "saftey zone".

I just looked at the Tv screan and wanted to climb into it to have them infront of me and be able to tell them... "THERE IS NO SAFTEY ZONE!".

I even wanted to write it on one of their FB pages but then I thought.... no maybe I should tell them after the baby is born so they don't get scared.

I have followed the Rancic's story .... I'm really happy they have such good news after so many negative things have happened to them.... but this saftey zone thing is killing me!

Birthday and something I overheard today.

The 2nd of July was my birthday.  This year I managed to handle it a little better than last year.  Last year I didn't want anyone to mention my birthday.... let alone give me birthday wishes.

I kept thinking about how wonderful it would have been to celebrate my birthday with Thea and my boys.  My boys wanted to take me to the beach.  I hadn't been for over a year and a half and didn't feel like it.... but they went on and on at me.... in the end I gave up.  We went to the swimming pool instead.

It was three months from losing my brother John.  I kept thinking that I was a birthday wish too short.  HIS birthday wish.  It would always arrive ...every year!  This year it's missing..... I'm sure he's with me and looking over me with Thea in his arms.

The thing I overheard today made me quite angry.

Gero was playing outside with one of our neighbour's children.  They have two.  A one year old and a 7 year old.  Gero was playing with the 7 year old but looking at the 1 year old.  A lady that was passing by said to him "If you want a little brother or sister ask mummy and daddy to go buy you one".  (that's what they say over here "buying a baby").  I wish it was as easy as going into a shop and going to buy a baby.  WE all know it's not.

The thing that made me angry was this lady.... knows what has happened to us.  Why would she go and say something like that for?

Maybe having a brain is an optional after all....

I mean really some people really do make me think to myself  "do you listen to yourself when you speak and mean the things you say!"

I was at my father's house a few day's ago.  As I go out.....I meet a couple going to see my parents.  We speak a bit..... then they ask me "how is he anyway?".  "he" being my dad.  I say "well he's doing realy well considering his great loss".  They then say  "we don't think he is..... we can't get through to him".  He's not his usual oldself.

He lost his SON!  Not a toy.... not an object... A SON!  He's NEVER going to be "his oldself"!

I can understand people "not getting it" because they haven't been through it.... but why don't people just shut their mouths and keep quiet!!!!!!!!!

Thank you....

.... to Rocco and Gabriel's mummy for this beautiful photo.

It's definately a T in the sky!

Remember me asking you all to cross your fingers...

Well thank you because it worked!

My friend's rainbow baby has arrived!!!

Little Luca was born yesterday.  I'm so happy for my Friend Sheila(I can mention her name now ;) ).

Luca's little sister Camilla definately accompanied him in their mother's arms to love and cherish!

I can actually say today that I am happy!

I was thinking....

about the end of a blog post that beth morey wrote.  It's about one thousand gifts that God has given us.....

I was thinking..... I'd like to write a postitive post once in a while..... instead of total and utter pain and grief ALL the time.

here's my attempt:

...That my friend's rainbow baby is nearly here and she will finally be smiling a REAL smile!

...for my boys that were supposed to sleep round their grandma's house but got teary when we said goodbye and came home with us. (suppose that's a bit of a selfish gift).

....the hugs I recieved today from my little preschool babies.

Saving the best till last:


.....I asked CiaoLapo if they could make us some tshirts.  (see Team Ciaolapo) I asked how much they cost so I could donate.... and they kindly said that they didn't want any money and that it's the least they could do as sponsors of the team.  That THEY want to give THEA a gift!  So I am greatful that I have found a place.... a virtual place on the internet that is FULL.  JAM PACKED.... POPPING AT THE SEAMS..... with HEART and LOVE!

Furious Friday

Friday: Hubby came back from work saying that maybe we should go and buy the boys new shoes.  He was definately right!

We went shoes shopping and clothes shopping.... and who do I see?

HER!

I felt my body fill itself with ANGER Furious .... the type that you feel in your fists and think.... I could gladly SLAP that person round the face and maybe feel better.

You are probably confused as to who the HER mentioned before is.  HER = pediatrician that was there at Thea's birth.  The one that got to hold her and I didn't!!!!  The one that told my mum not to touch her grand-daughter. The one that had all the say in everything and me.... well I was just a silly blubbering mother who just lost her baby so she had better get rid of her and out of my sight before I blubbered anymore!

I really hope she never has anything else to do with stillbirth or abortion.